


Sweet and Sorrowful

by Lori_Cifera



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Feelings Realization, M/M, Short Stories, Supernatural Ryan, Supernatural Ryan Bergara, mermaid fic, the voodoo episode
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-12-26 16:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18285911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lori_Cifera/pseuds/Lori_Cifera
Summary: A collection of short (<1000 words) stories.





	1. Eating Beignets

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: Ryan & Shane eating beignets in New Orleans. Takes place after filming the New Orleans Voodoo episode.

The mood had been weird in the ride back to their hotel and when they stepped out of the car Shane didn't say much, just walked to his hotel room with a 'I'll go and take a shower, see you later'.

Ryan wondered if he was just reading too much into things. Shane wasn't angry with Ryan, he was pretty sure, but there was some kind of a tenseness between them.

Maybe they were just tired. Or still recovering from their experience with voodoo.

That almost rang a bell. Had he said something weird to Shane?

_Or done?_

After giving Shane well enough time to shower Ryan headed to his hotel room and knocked.

“Coming, just gimme a sec-”

Shane who opened the door was fully clothed.

And Ryan realized a part of him had, perhaps hoped he wouldn't be-

“So, I saw a nice little coffee shop just across the hotel, and I think we'd really need to try some beignets,” he hurried to say, hoping his expression hadn't given anything away.

Shane frowned, running his fingers through his slightly wet hair. “Beignets?”

“Come on, we're in New Orleans.”

To Ryan's relief Shane didn't question why it turned out to just be the two of them.

Nothing wrong with that, of course (even if Ryan was now slightly feeling they had snuck out behind Devon's and TJ's backs.)

“It's nice,” Shane said approvingly, as they sat down in the small cafe. “Cozy.”

He poked at the puffy treat. “Oh, these! I've seen these. Never eaten, though.”

“These have just way too much sugar on them-” Ryan said. “Did they pour the whole fucking bag on it?”

“Come on Bergara. Live a little. Don't be afraid of little sugar.”

Ryan wondered if he imagined the look Shane gave him while saying it. He watched Shane bite into the mountain of sugar. “If you sneeze that on me I'll never forgive you.”

Shane licked his lips. “It's good. Puffy.”

Ryan was so preoccupied with the things Shane's tongue was doing he almost forgot the treat in his hand. He bit down in his beignet, his attention still on Shane.

He wondered if he should tell him there was a speck of powdered sugar on his nose.

“Yeah, it's good. Like biting into a pillow.”

A comfortable silence fell as Ryan watched Shane slurp his soda.

Shane was the one to break it. “I guess we didn't meet in the middle.”

He looked at Ryan, some kind of a silent question in his gaze.

“Not until you start believing in ghosts,” Ryan said, his words oddly clumsy as they fell from his mouth. This wasn't really about ghosts, was it?

It almost felt simpler if it _was_.

Shane shrugged as he leaned closer. “It's up to you. The ball is in your court, as they say.”

It definitely wasn't about ghosts.

Ryan leaned in. “Mine?”

He was close enough to feel Shane's breath on his face. Ryan tried to focus on the sugar on his nose.

“Yes.”

And Ryan remembered. Shane had tried, on this trip.

“You did try. To understand what it'd be like to- To believe. To not intellectualize everything.”

“Oh.” Shane pulled slightly back.

Ryan panicked and leaned forward, to stop the distance between them from widening. He felt he was close to something, and if he let this go he might not get an another chance any time soon.

“I appreciate it,” Ryan said.

There was more though...

Ryan remembered how Shane had tried to hold his hand and he had told him to never do it again.

And in the car too...

“I think we'll get there,” Shane had said, and Ryan _had_ picked up on the layered meaning in those words.

“I get freaked out sometimes,” Ryan admitted.

Shane smiled. “Maybe you should stop being so afraid.”

And it definitely wasn't about ghosts anymore. That's what Ryan chose to believe at least as he leaned in closer.

And licked the sugar off the tip of his friend's nose.

Shane pulled back with a laugh. “What the fuck?”

Ryan smiled. “Sugar. I figured I'd better take care of that before the good people here get any wrong impressions of the wild and free Hollywood elite. Snort sugar in your free time.”

Shane wiped his nose in his sleeve. “I thought you were going to- Kiss me.”

Apparently Shane figured it was his turn to take steps towards whatever point they were clumsily approaching. “I would have been okay with that.”

Ryan nodded. “Yeah, me too. To be fair I was first gonna go for a kiss but the table was on the way and I wasn't sure I could reach-”

“You might have to get used to having trouble reaching,” Shane said, and had the audacity to _wink._

“You asshole.” Ryan grinned, taking his hand. “I think we should probably take this back to the hotel to figure out- to do some meeting in the middle.”

Shane intertwined their fingers and smiled. “Sounds like a plan.”

 


	2. Mermaid Ryan

Written as a request to make a fic where “Ryan is a fish creature that looks human until he gets wet and Shane just got a new pool"

 

* * *

 

 

Ryan's life was ruled by anxiety and lies.

It had started when he had been a child. Of course now he understood why his parents had told him the horrifying stories of La Llorona and how she'd snatch him away if she spotted him playing alone near water.

Little Ryan had loved water.

He had been a good kid. But the pull of the river close their house had gotten too strong eventually. And he had escaped from under the watchful eyes of his parents to answer the call. 

He hadn't even understood it, all he had known was he had sensed the wild waters. Was called by them. It had felt safe, and kind, and like home. So he had reached out to the enticing coolness. Dived in, feeling at home as the depths embraced him.

His mother had found him playing happily in the stream.

They had moved soon afterwards. To a smaller house far away from water.

His parents hadn't said anything to him. They hadn't blamed him.

But Ryan had been very aware it had been his fault somehow.

"Keep it hidden, Ryan," his mother had told him every night. "Some people are just too special for the world. People won't understand."

During the bathtime his parents had dressed it up as a game. A time to play 'Keep the scales hidden'. After a short bath they'd dry him up and he couldn't leave the bathroom until his tail had separated into two legs again.

He could tell his father was afraid. Looking back to it now he understood, but back then Ryan had worried so much he was ruining everything.

That he was a disappointment.

His brother had been born, and he was a normal human, and their mother never filled his head with scary stories of women who drowned their children.

It was only when he was outside with Ryan that her gaze darted to any running water with anxiety and worry.

She was afraid. Ryan could tell.

Of the scary ghost lady taking him away.

And Ryan really did understand why his parents were relieved when his brother never heard the call of the waters.

Nevertheless, Ryan grew up happy, and loved, but overtly protected.

His parents had worried when he left for college.

He had assured them it was fine.

He could keep the Call away. He could stay safe. He could stay hidden.

All he needed was discipline.

 

* * *

 

"Come on, it will be a fun bit," Shane told him.

"Hm?" Ryan looked up, leaning a bit closer to his co-host on the hotel bed.

He breathed in Shane's scent. He wasn't still certain what he was feeling towards his friend. Ryan was lonely, certainly. So maybe it was just being touch starved. He had dated before but the girlfriends, the occasional boyfriend, never stuck around for long, eventually frustrated at Ryan for keeping them at a distance. At the very least when the idea of moving together came up Ryan broke it up. He couldn't risk it. Shane was-

"The tub! We could sit in it together, for the-"

Ryan reeled back. "I'm not going to do that!"

He saw the expression on Shane's face, and realized he had let the fear and disgust drip into his tone.

"Okay, fine," Shane told him, and his tone was cold. Hurt.

And Ryan knew for certain just how he felt towards his friend as his heart broke.

And with crushing certainty, that he could never let this become anything romantic.

He couldn't let anyone close.

He didn't want to lose Shane.

* * *

 

 

"It sure is a... thing." Ryan stared at the pool on Shane's backyard. Trying not to let it show he would have never come around to see Shane's surprise had he known what it was.

"I'm gonna be a poolboy, Ryan." Shane walked to him. "I thought I told you about how having a pool was my dream? Now I'm just going to live here, forever."

"Just sink into the waves." Ryan had intended for it to come out as jokey but his voice trembled.

"Ryan?"

Shane took a step towards him, looking concerned. Ryan panicked.

And did the absolute worst thing, taking a terrified step backwards.

Towards the pool.

He stumbled, suddenly his feet not finding solid ground. He fell backwards, locking eyes with startled Shane.

An unwelcome thought ran through his brain.

_This will be the last time he can look at me like I'm a normal person._

And he fell, the water embracing him.

Ryan cried out, even as joy filled his very being. It was wonderful, feeling water all around him. Far better than the short showers he allowed himself. He felt his form shift as he let the call of the water overtake him, molding him into the form more suitable for-

"Ryan!"

Ryan could feel himself being pulled out, and panicked.

_I can't let him pull me out I can't let him see-_

He trashed, pulling Shane underwater with him.

He could feel the form against him struggling, and only held tighter, claws digging into the flannel.

_Wait, no._

He let go.

And was immediately hit in the face by a flailing limb.

"AH!"

Shane struggled up in the shallow water, coughing. He turned to Ryan.

"Sorry! Are you okay?"

Ryan pulled backwards. It was no use hiding his tail now. "Um. I think I should be the one to apologize, uh I didn't meant to- are you okay?"

Shane leaned on the edge of the pool, coughing. He looked around. Luckily no one was around to witness this all. "We should probably- Are you okay? I mean, uh dude has this-" he waved at the fishtail- "Been a thing for a while now or- or a recent development?"

"It's always been- eh maybe we should go inside?"

Shane nodded, lifting him up bridal style before Ryan could even think of the issue of him no longer having legs.

"You're not going to- this isn't some mermaid thing, right? You're not going to drown me? Pull me under?"

Ryan stiffened in his arms.

"Sorry, sorry dude I didn't mean-"

"I don't know," Ryan blurted out.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Shane stumbled with the door to get them inside to safety.

"I don't exactly- Know many other mer- mer people? I-"

Ryan avoided Shane's eyes. _Had_ he attempted to pull Shane down into the water like some kind of a monster of myth?

_Maybe._

He let Shane set him on the couch. Ryan lifted his hand up. It was still mostly human apart from the shining golden claws. Beautiful. Sharp. He watched his golden tail, and hated how it felt like a part of him. But it wasn't just that that had changed. It was his whole being and he wasn't sure what it meant exactly.

He tried to ignore how good it had felt, being submerged, if even for a second in a tiny pool.

"Ryan?"

Shane crouched on the floor next to him. "Sorry, it was a joke, I didn't mean- it wasn't a good joke."

"I don't know. I don't know much."

"Do you need anything? Can you turn back- not that there's anything wrong with being a- merperson. It's fine, it's fine. Just probably easier to move on dry land with a pair of legs and a-"

Shane looked away, like he didn't want to stare.

"I just gotta dry up and wait it will- it will go away on it's own."

"You're okay, though? Wait, shit."

Shane walked to the windows to pull the curtains.

Ryan watched him. "I can't believe you're taking this so well."

_He is worried for me._

"Yes, well. This isn't some joke, right? Like about half of the population of LA is half fish, you just never told anyone else as a practical joke-"

"Shane..."

Shane hurried to him, still dripping water. "You okay?"

He stopped to stare. "There's some kinda- your ears they're uh, webbed or something- and dude, I hope this doesn't sound rude but you look better. Like I mean, uh healthier."

"I feel... Better."

Ryan did. He was always tired, but now he felt more energized than he had in years.

Shane shrugged. "I am not quite sure yet you're not gonna, uh just disappear into sea foam or something. But I'm not that shocked. I mean mermai- merpeople, sorry. Merpeople are like- physical. You're physical. You're Ryan. So."

His eyes darted to the golden tail. "Yes, right, I'll get you some towels. You okay though? It's okay that... I know? Am I on a mermaid hitlist now? Do I gotta worry about a kraken taking me out since I know too much?"

"No. Sorry. I don't know much. About what I am. It might run in the family, or something my mum caught when she was pregnant with me. Uh. I have kept this hidden so well."

"I won't tell anyone."

Ryan nodded. "I trust you." He licked his lips. "I-"

Shane stood up. "Right. Towels. Also _I_ need to quickly change. Dry clothes."

He disappeared into the bathroom. Ryan only now realized what a mess he had made of Shane's couch. Ryan pulled his drenched hoodie off. He froze. It wasn't like Shane hadn't seen him shirtless before but he was technically laying on Shane's coach completely _naked-_

Before Ryan could start panicking properly over that Shane returned dressed in a T-shirt and sweatpants, carrying a pile of towels, and offering a different source of anxiety and panic for Ryan to focus on: "Do you ever go to the ocean, or-"

"No!"

Shane took a step back. "Sorry! Uh, I put my big foot in my mouth again, I don't... Know much about, uh, your people?"

"It's fine, I just... can't."

Shane didn't press the issue.

Of course Ryan couldn't. Even though every cell in his body yearned for the embrace of the vastness of the ocean. But if he went in, he might never come back.

Might not _want_ to come back.

"It's okay."

"I might want to, but I have never... I can't exactly go-"

"You can use my pool! I can get something to hide you from prying eyes!"

Shane threw a towel on Ryan's tail. "It will be fine."

Shane dropped rest of the towels on Ryan, careful not to touch him, like he was afraid he'd do something inappropriate on accident.

“It's fine,” Ryan told him. “If you want to touch it. My tail.”

“Okay. I'm- I'm curious. If it's okay.”

“It is, dude. Go on.”

Carefully, Shane's long fingers brushed gently against the scales. “Cool.”

Ryan smiled, and Shane was so close, and damn it he was in love.

Ryan reached to stroke his cheek and to pull him closer. "I'd like to see where this could go. If you- if you're okay with this all."

"Yeah."

Their lips met, and Ryan felt, for the first time in ages, at peace.

Maybe it'd even be okay. Just experimenting with the pool a bit. Letting his tail out, just laying in water...

Shane pulled back enough to give him a smile.

And Ryan knew that even if he went out into the ocean he would be fine. He would always want to come back to this lanky kind weirdo.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i'll take requests, not gonna promise i'll do it but shoot me a message on tumblr if ya feel like it  
> https://thesuspiciousorb.tumblr.com/


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